No Way Out For Brandon
by DaniNatureGirl313
Summary: While out for a walk, Brandon goes into deep introspection, and he finds a ray of hope.


**No Way Out For Brandon**

Brandon Sullivan looks like any typical Manhattan yuppie. Every article of clothing he owns, whether casual or formal, looks like it was ordered from the Ralph Lauren catalogue and should be worn by a GQ model. He rarely has a strand of rusty auburn hair out of place. His large dimples and toothy mega-watt smile charm just about everyone he meets, especially women. He's got a great well-paying job, and everyone thinks he's so generous for allowing his troubled sister to live with him. However, no one thinks to take a closer look, to really see the torment swirling around in those ice-blue eyes.

You see, Brandon is a sex addict. Now, this isn't a mere case of some random spoiled celebrity, making a public apology for cheating on their significant other, when they're really only sorry for getting caught. This is completely different. He simply can't help himself. The two computers he owns, one at home and one at work, are both ridden with pornography. His dresser drawers are stuffed with it, too. Some days, he can't even get through work without discreetly disappearing off to…well, you know. His tragic childhood and adolescence have so terribly damaged his self-esteem. It's at the point where unless his encounters are quick and/or casual, he can't perform properly. His brain sends him on lust overload, forcing him to go out and get his fix. But then, his heart takes over afterwards, and he feels even worse about himself then before, starting the cycle all over again.

He struggles with this every day, fighting to juggle the outside façade with both his primary addiction and a secondary one to cocaine, as well as his sister's own extreme emotional drama. He's thinking about this for the umpteenth time as he takes a walk, this particular sidewalk running through a small suburb on the city outskirts. He sighs as he slumps down onto a bench and lights up a cigarette.

_**Everywhere I turn, I hurt someone.**_

_**But there's nothing I can say to change the things I've done.**_

_**Of all the things I hid from you, I cannot hide the shame.**_

_**And I pray someone, something, will come to take away the pain.**_

He seems to destroy everyone he comes into contact with. He can't seem to get close to anyone. He thinks of two people in particular: his sister, Sissy, and the one girl over whom he thought he'd make a try for normal humanity…Marianne. He so badly wished that he could tell them both the truth, and he longed for the day when he wouldn't suffer anymore.

_**There's no way out of this dark place…no hope, no future.**_

_**I know I can't be free, and I can't see another way.**_

_**I can't face another day. **_

As of right now, he feels like a prisoner to his addictions. He doesn't know how or if he'll ever get out of them, and it often feels like he can't go on.

_**Tell me, where did I go wrong?**_

_**Everyone I loved, they're all gone.**_

_**I'd do everything so differently, but I can't turn back the time.**_

_**There's no shelter from this storm inside of me. **_

He sees them all clearly, flipping through his mind like pages of a book: his parents, Sissy, Marianne, every woman he'd ever lusted after since his addiction first took hold. They haven't abandoned him. No, _he's_ abandoned _them_. If he could change everything, he knew that he would. He felt like he was chained in the middle of a street, unable to move as rain poured down on him.

_**There's no way out of this dark place…no hope, no future.**_

_**I know I can't be free, and I can't see another way.**_

_**I can't face another day.**_

__The tears coming down his face grow more pronounced and frequent. He takes another couple of puffs on his cigarette.

_**I can't believe the words I hear.**_

_**It's like an answer to a prayer. **_

_**When I look around, I see this place, this time, this friend of mine.**_

_**I know it's hard, but you found, somehow, to look into your heart, and to forgive me now.**_

_**You've given me the strength to see just where my journey ends. **_

_**You've given me the strength to carry on.**_

For so long, Brandon's dreamed of what his life would be like without addiction. He dreams of happiness for himself, to be married with several children. He dreams of Sissy, finally at emotional and mental peace, also with a loving husband and kids. He dreams of their parents being proud of them, free of their own personal demons. He dreams of purging himself of the relationship he currently has with his boss, and of gaining forgiveness from Marianne. He dreams of a near-Heaven, and how good it would feel if both his Earthly friends and God would forgive him for anything negative caused by this disease. He takes a deep breath as he imagines the joy.

_**I see the path from this dark place. I see the future.**_

_**Your forgiveness has set me free.**_

_**Oh, and I can see another way.**_

_**I can face another day!**_

_**I see the path. I can see the path.**_

_**I see the future.**_

_**I see the path from this dark place.**_

_**I see the future.**_

_**I see the path from this dark place.**_

_**I see the future.**_

_**I can see the, I can see the…**_

And so, with this strange new hope in his heart, Brandon Sullivan snuffs out his cigarette and goes home to his apartment. When he gets there, he uses his phone to make an appointment with a specialized therapist. He walks past where Sissy is quietly napping on the couch, a full-on genuine smile crossing his face as he watches the sun begin to go down. He's happy, really happy, because he knows…he knows that tomorrow will bring the dawn of a new era in his life.


End file.
